Kid Logic

An article by David Brooks on July 19, 2008

 

I witnessed some kids throwing rocks, this is the conversation that followed.

  • “Hey guys, please don’t throw the rocks. You could really hurt someone.” I explained, being as nice as I could. The kids pretended that I had said nothing while dropping the rocks casually to avoid being caught in the act.
  • “Did you guys hear me?” I asked, adding, “I don’t want to see anyone throwing any rocks.”
  • “We weren’t throwing the rocks, we were gently tossing them.” The first boy remarked, a look of innocence on his face.
  • “Actually, I saw how hard you threw it, just please stop, okay?”
  • “What if we promise to throw them gently?” He questioned, but not necessarily wanting to make eye contact with me.
  • “No, because it’s going to evolve into throwing them harder.”
  • “What if we throw them like this?” a little girl asked, demonstrating that she would only throw it a maximum of 4 feet away.
  • “No, sorry, that will turn into throwing rocks again.” I explained.
  • “Well what if we promise to only throw them like this?” This time she threw it only two feet away.
  • “I think we all know this will turn into tossing them gently which will turn into tossing them less gently which will then turn into throwing rocks.”
  • “Can we drop them like this?” The boy picked one up and dropped it from about shoulder height.
  • “No, because that will turn into forcefully dropping them which will then evolve into slightly tossing them which always turns into throwing them.”
  • “Can we run our hands across the rocks?” He mentioned casually while making a smoothing motion over the rock pile.
  • “Yes, actually, you can do that. As long as you don’t pickup the rocks and start dropping them, because we all know that will evolve into tossing them which will turn into throwing them.”
  • “Can we put them on our heads like this?” He said, placing the rock on his head and staring at me with a genuinely puzzled look on his face.
  • “Yes, you can do that, as long as it doesn’t turn into any of the other things I mentioned that you shouldn’t do”
  • “Cool! Let’s make a game out of it! We’ll see who can keep the rock on their head longest!” The little girl exclaimed with excitement that I still cannot explain.

With that I walked away, I figure that I covered the bases as much as “adultly” possible. We all know that the throwing rock evolution probably happened the minute I walked away. One of the other workers assures me that the same kids will probably turn into lawyers, I have a feeling that she’s right.

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About David Brooks

David Brooks is the owner of the small creative studio, Northward Compass, based out of Orlando, Florida. He writes electronic and ambient music as Light The Deep, and fantasy stories about a place called Elerien.

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